In short: fix the trust issues before you start. We’ve had the bad dates, the bad relationship, maybe even the bad marriage, and it rightly makes us worry that we could be about to buy a ticket for the exact same ride again.īut it’s still on US to work through that bitterness and come out with a fresh slate. But is our past now going to be the burden of our brand new shiny would-be partner? Is the first impression we want someone to have of us one of being mistrusting, fearful, and…pissed off at men/women?īy the age of at least 30, we can all accept that just about everyone has a few emotional scars.
“Sick and tired of dating boys, just want a real man”. So with that all said, here are some useful good and bad things I’ve noticed through my profile-trawling over the years: Things that are scary: We also tend to ask, “what do I want to say/show off/be angry about?”, instead of, “what kind of person do I want to attract?”. We ask ourselves, “what will most people be attracted to?” instead of, “what will my ideal person be attracted to?” There are well-worn trends to that seem universally accepted: get a photo with an adorable animal, maybe one of something active like surfing or rock climbing so I look more outdoorsy and extroverted than I really am, maybe one of me wearing a suit even though most days I work from home and am rarely out of jeans and a T-shirt.Īnd this is often because we ask ourselves the wrong questions when it comes to online dating.
There is always an irresistible urge to conform when writing our own profile. Ok, at first it starts with: “Am I into their look?”ĭo they share my abiding love for Studio Ghibli films and Japanese anime, movie soundtracks, or the brilliance of Bill Murray, The Office, and Arrested Development? Suddenly now I’m doing a spit-take and wondering what kind of fantasy woman my brain is writing for me in this reverie I must have drifted off to in the middle of my working day. Yet when I look at own behaviour on Tinder, I also know: I get excited whenever I see someone who shares my nerdy side.
It’s always tempting on a dating profile to show a “cleaned up” version of who we really are: safe, pedestrian, polished and hide the quirky, the nerdy hobbies, the bits that make us a little weird to some. How much of yourself should you reveal on a dating app?
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